Hunger

"Got an ID?"

Daisuke held out a shaking hand, offering his new fake ID to the bouncer. Would it work? Shit, what if he figured it out?! What would happen, then?

"Okay, go on."

Letting out a long sigh of relief, Daisuke took his ID and stepped into the darkened entryway of the bar. He felt a shiver go down his spine. He couldn't believe he'd finally come here. It'd taken a lot of bribing to get Koushirou to make him an ID, and even then he only agreed when he'd told him why.

Taichi would be here. Taichi, with his dark eyes and muscular body...

The stairway down to the bar was dark, and Daisuke walked down it slowly, keeping a hand on the brick wall next to him. The air got cooler as he descended, and he wrapped his free arm around himself, wishing he'd worn something warmer. Still, this was the only thing he'd had that he thought might look sexy enough to wear for this occasion. Tight black jeans that were a size too small, his mother thought he'd thrown them away; and a red t-shirt. It wasn't anything fancy, but maybe Taichi would-

"Move it, kid." An older man shoved by him, sending Daisuke tumbling down the stairs head first. When he landed he'd scraped his hands up and they were bleeding.

Sitting there in the cold, Daisuke began to wonder why he'd even bothered. It wasn't like his hair-brained schemes ever worked. But still... he couldn't stop now. Licking the blood from his palms and drying them on his pants, Daisuke stood and stepped in through the ominous black doors of the bar.

A startling amount of noise assaulted Daisuke's senses as he entered. Music was blasting from the speakers on the walls, and black lights pulsed as dancers filled the floor. Across the room Daisuke could just make out a bar through the crowd, but he'd have to cross the dance floor to get there. Taking a deep breath, he stepped forward. The room was much hotter than the hallway, steamy almost, and it smelled of sweat.

"What have we here?" A man in his twenties wearing tight leather pants and nothing else wrapped an arm around Daisuke's waist.

Daisuke froze, his eyes widening. "Um..."

"Hey, honey, wanna dance with me?" A person who looked like a woman, but Daisuke could tell was really a man in a dress and lots of makeup, pressed up against him, winking. The man in the leather pants pressed behind him, and he was trapped between the two. Their bodies were hot, like the room, and Daisuke could feel their sweat rubbing off onto him.

"L-Leggo!" He squirmed, trying to get away.

The man in the leather pants laughed and released him, tugging on the man-woman's arm. "C'mon, he's too shy."

Daisuke let out a long sigh of relief, then squirmed through the crowd, trying not to touch any of the gyrating bodies. Past the muscular men in tight leather, past the transvestites, past the handful of lesbians that crowded in the corner, Daisuke finally made it to the bar. Panting, he sat down and rested his head on the counter. It was cool.

"Hey, boy. You want a drink or not?" The bartender leaned over and poked Daisuke's head, knocking his goggles off.

Sitting up abruptly and adjusting his goggles, Daisuke scowled. "No, I-"

"You don't get to sit here unless you're gonna order something," the bartender growled.

"Um... I don't..." Daisuke pulled out a wad of bills from his pocket and sat it on the bar. "What can I get with this?"

Smirking, the bartender pulled out a few bottles and poured them into a glass, stirring the mixture up and topping it off with a cherry. "Enjoy."

The music in the bar was pulsing in his ears as Daisuke took a long sip of the sour tasting drink. He felt his body flush as the alcohol hit his system, and he worried about how strong this drink was. He turned to watch the dance floor as he sipped from the glass. The noise, the smells, the taste... it all blended and began making him feel dizzy. His mind raced as he thought of what had gotten him here. From the moment he'd heard Taichi talking about this place to Yamato, from the moment he'd known his senpai was gay, he knew he had to try it. He wasn't going to wait until he was older, and he couldn't just write him a love letter. No, he had to come here. He had to prove to Taichi that he wasn't just a kid any longer.

That's when he saw him.

Taichi was pressed against another young man, their bodies grinding against each other to the heavy beat of the music. Taichi's hands were sliding down the other boy's back, down to his ass, and Daisuke felt his body tense. It wasn't fair.

He'd come all this way, it wasn't fair. He'd dressed in these uncomfortably tight pants, it wasn't fair. He'd dealt with the weird people and this nasty drink, it wasn't fair! Why wasn't he the one Taichi was dancing with?! Before he knew it, Daisuke was crossing the floor, his drink forgotten. He only realized what he was doing after he tapped on Taichi's shoulder.

Taichi turned his head, dropping his smile in surprise as he realized who was standing behind him. The boy he was dancing with tried to tug him back, saying something that Daisuke couldn't hear over the music.

"Stop whining." Taichi shoved the boy away, turning to face Daisuke completely. He raised an eyebrow and opened his mouth to say something.

Maybe it was the music. Maybe it was the alcohol rushing through his veins. Maybe it was just the jealousy of seeing Taichi touch someone like that. Either way, Daisuke couldn't help it when he reached up, wrapped his arms around Taichi's shoulders, and pressed against him like he'd seen the other boy doing. "Dance with me." His own voice sounded low and unfamiliar. He held his breath in anticipation.

Taichi grinned and he licked his lips. He didn't say a word, and he didn't laugh, as Daisuke was afraid he might. Instead, his arms snaked around Daisuke's waist, and he pressed back.

The song ended and a new one started. Daisuke didn't recognize it, but it was loud and heavy, and it seemed to match his quickening heartbeat.  The lights went down to match the mood of the song, and Daisuke couldn't pull his gaze from Taichi's eyes. They lit up in the dark red glare of the room, making him look intimidating. Daisuke shuddered.

Taichi leaned in to Daisuke, pressing his mouth to the boy's ear, taking the lead in the dance. Their bodies rocked back and forth, and Taichi sharpened his movements, practically dry thrusting against Daisuke. "What are you doing here?"

He must have expected Daisuke to be embarrassed, or to blush. Instead, the boy simply reached down and rested his hands on Taichi's ass, pulling him against him harder, pressing their groins together. "Came to see you."

A soft gasp from Taichi, and Daisuke let his eyes slide shut. This was it. His heart beat so hard it almost hurt, and he felt his eyes sting with a few tears. He wouldn't cry, he couldn't. But to be like this... to be held by Taichi, to feel his body pressed against him... Daisuke let out a shuddering sigh. His senpai felt so good.

"Mmmm..." Taichi pulled back suddenly, and Daisuke's eyes opened, giving Taichi a yearning look. Was he going to leave? "I don't think you know what I do here, Daisuke. Shouldn't you go home?" Again with that challenging look.

Daisuke wouldn't back down. He licked his lips and matched Taichi's stare. "You look for someone to fuck, right?"

Taichi seemed surprised. So his little kohai wasn't so innocent after all.

Daisuke blushed then, pressing back against Taichi, and rested his head on his senpai's shoulder to hide it. He could barely finish what he was trying to say. It finally came out in a whisper. "Aren't I good enough?"

Taichi chuckled. Daisuke couldn't be serious. He was trying to be one of the big boys, that was all. So he wanted a night on the town? Taichi was pretty serious he could convince the boy he wasn't ready for this after all. And it might be fun... "C'mon, then." Taking Daisuke's hand, Taichi led him back across the dance floor, back up the cold stairs, and back out into the night air.

Daisuke stumbled on the steps, trying to keep up with Taichi's quickening pace, wondering where his senpai was taking him. In his pants, his erection throbbed pitifully. Was it really going to happen? Was he finally going to fulfill all those fantasies that kept him up at night? The thoughts that made him moan, the dreams that left him in a cold sweat, the images that drove him to thrusting against his mattress in desperation...

"Get in." Taichi opened the door to his father's car. He must have borrowed it for the night, Daisuke thought, and bit his lip. He knew there was no going back now, even if he'd wanted to. He didn't want to.

The car was small... and Daisuke slipped into the back seat, scooting over to make room for his senpai. Taichi got in and closed the door behind him. Faster than Daisuke could comprehend, his senpai had pushed him onto his back, and was on top of him. Their lips were pressed together.

Daisuke was breathless as he returned the kiss. He tried to reach up to touch Taichi, but the older boy pinned his hands at his sides. Daisuke could barely breathe, and he wriggled beneath his senpai, trying to touch him, to feel his senpai's skin under his hands. But Taichi would have nothing of it.

Instead, the older boy broke the kiss, only to sit up and push Daisuke's shirt up under his arms. "Mmmm... nice." Ducking his head, Taichi bit onto Daisuke's left nipple, making the boy cry out. His eyes watered, and the sharp pain faded slowly, leaving behind it a warm glow. By the time he felt his mind clear again, Taichi had already moved on. Daisuke's pants were unbuttoned, and being pulled down.

Daisuke blushed darkly, ashamed to already be so aroused, and ashamed that Taichi could see him like this. His pants were on the floor of the car now, and his body was revealed completely. Taichi smirked.

"Already this horny, Dai-chan?"

Daisuke looked away, too embarrassed to say a word. It wasn't his fault his senpai was sitting above him like that... looking like that... and the way Taichi's body looked like that in the streetlight made Daisuke want to moan. He hated this... he was supposed to have seduced his senpai, made him want HIM for a change... instead, he was laying here helplessly. He shut his eyes tightly and grit his teeth, trying not to cry.

Taichi grinned and gently turned Daisuke's face back to look at him. "You still want this?" He was sure the younger boy would wimp out. No way would he go through with this. He must be terrified by now.

Daisuke's eyes opened slowly. Taichi wasn't pinning his arms anymore, so he reached up and placed his hands on Taichi's shoulders, then pulled himself up carefully, and pressed his lips to his senpai's. The kiss was hungry, and sent sharp shivers down Daisuke's spine. When he finally broke the kiss, disappointed by Taichi's lack of reply, he just whispered. "I still want you."

Parting his lips and sucking in a deep breath, Taichi felt his own body suddenly respond. He'd never had anyone look at him like that before. No, he had... he'd seen Daisuke look at him like that before. Suddenly he remembered the moments before in the locker room, when he'd caught Daisuke staring at him. And then the way Daisuke looked in his soccer uniform after a game, sweaty and well toned. The younger boy's body was attractive, and seeing him laid out before him, completely helpless... Feeling his coherent thoughts fading into a surge of lust, Taichi took Daisuke's hand and pressed it to his groin. His erection throbbed in his pants and Daisuke blushed. Taichi wanted to make him blush more. "I'm going... to fuck you."

Daisuke's eyes darted back up from Taichi's crotch to his face, and he felt a surge of fear go through him. His senpai didn't look amused anymore. Instead, he looked hungry... like a lion waiting to pounce on it's prey. Daisuke was going to say something, try to calm him down, ask for him to be gentle... but it was too late. Taichi rolled him onto his stomach and Daisuke could do nothing but whimper as he felt his senpai's tongue drift down his spine to his ass, and toy with his entrance. "Senpai!" he gasped, pressing back against Taichi's mouth. He was scared... but at the same time... Taichi felt so good. And his senpai wouldn't do anything to hurt him, right? ...Right?

Taichi let out a hungry growl, and he unzipped his pants. He didn't have lube with him, but he didn't care anymore. The way Daisuke moaned 'senpai' like that pushed him right over the edge, and all he could think of now was claiming this young boy. He had to make him his.

Everything went white. Daisuke couldn't see anything else besides that blinding white... but that wasn't what really mattered. All he knew was the sudden pain. The sharp unending pain... and the stretching. Taichi was suddenly buried inside of him. His hips had been pulled up, his legs parted, and his head pushed into the seat... and he'd been taken. Daisuke let out a strangled cry and clawed at the seat, trying to pull away. It hurt.

Fingers buried in Daisuke's hips, Taichi pulled out, only to thrust in again, harder. His breath was shallow, and his heartbeat was fast, and when he saw Daisuke trying to escape it only made him want him more. "Mine." Taichi thrust in again, and again, making sure each one went all the way into the smaller boy. He wanted to make sure Daisuke felt it all the way through him.

"Senpai! Please!" Daisuke's eyes shut tightly and a few tears came out. It hurt so badly... yet... when Taichi said 'mine'... Daisuke felt a shudder go down his spine. And despite all the pain, his erection only throbbed harder. Was he really enjoying this? He sobbed and reached down slowly, grasping his own erection, and began to stroke it slowly, then faster, along with Taichi's violent thrusts.

"Say it." Taichi reached down and grasped Daisuke's hand, helping him stroke himself off. "SAY that you're mine." It was suddenly so important to own him... to possess him... completely. Taichi growled again. In the back of his mind, he wondered if he was being too harsh, and wondering weather he should be losing control like this. That thought was lost when Daisuke moaned in response.

"Yours, senpai! I'm... all yours!"

The car rocked along with each thrust, and people passed outside, peering in and laughing. This part of town was known for things like this, and the men leaving the gay bar were only too happy to look in and see Daisuke's flushed face and helpless expression. This only made the younger boy moan louder. He was ashamed. People could see him... Taichi was using him... and people could see him. And yet...

"Senpai! I... I-"

Taichi chuckled when he felt Daisuke's erection throb suddenly, releasing its seed onto their hands. "Mine."

Daisuke didn't hear him. He screamed over the word because of a new sensation... Taichi coming into him. The hot liquid stung, and made him shudder. His senpai had been inside of him... Daisuke collapsed onto the car seat and panted, his eyes barely open.

Taichi fell back, his head hitting the glass. His breathing caught up with him slowly, and as it did, he finally realized what he'd done. Daisuke was his friend, his kohai, he trusted him... and he'd hurt him. He felt a sudden surge of guilt. Then he wondered how many drinks he'd had before, how long he'd been in the bar before Daisuke had shown up... and then more guilt.

The smaller boy rolled over slowly, and pulled his knees to his chest, covering himself and staring at Taichi with wide eyes. "Senpai...?"

"...I'm... sorry." Taichi didn't think he'd ever said that and meant it more. "I just... you were so... shit." Taichi buttoned his pants again and reached for Daisuke's clothes, trembling slightly from guilt. He hadn't meant for this to go so far.

Daisuke blushed and reached for Taichi's arm. "I... don't.... mind."

"Daisuke, don't you GET it?! I just... I fucking raped you!" Taichi looked pale. "You aren't... are you hurt?!"

"No, you didn't! You didn't rape me... I wanted you." Daisuke ducked his head and snatched his clothes from Taichi, wishing he could escape the sudden stare he felt from the older boy. "I've always wanted you..."

There was a long silence. Daisuke's heart raced as he waited for a reply. Taichi had been with him now. He must care at least a little... right? He HAD to.

"Daisuke... what..."

"I love you!" Daisuke blurted it out, looking back up with wide eyes. "Please... Taichi-senpai..."

Taichi felt his heart stop. He couldn't say no, not after what he'd just done. He couldn't say yes, not now. It was too much. He said the first thing that came to his mind. "I don't."

Daisuke shut his eyes and let his head fall to his knees and he began to cry. He felt stupid... so stupid. Of course Taichi didn't love him. This was all just a game for him, wasn't it? His hands were raw and his hips were bruised and his ass hurt so bad, but that didn't matter. It had just been for fun. A fuck. Daisuke was just a fuck.

"I'm sorry..." Taichi felt himself panic. He didn't know what to do when people cried. He'd never known.

Taking a deep breath, Daisuke looked up and shook his head. "No. It's my fault." He forced a smile and began pulling on his clothes, ignoring the shuddering in his chest from the held back sobs. "It's okay. I never thought... that you would."

"Daisuke..."

"It's fine." Finishing pulling his clothes on, Daisuke reached for the door handle to leave.

Taichi grabbed his arm and pulled him closer. "Daisuke, I can't... feel that way for you. I don't... I don't love anyone right now. I just... wanna have fun and... didn't you have fun?" Taichi frowned, not understanding the feelings Daisuke seemed to have for him. If he cared for him, then isn't this what would make him happy?

Daisuke turned his head and let Taichi see the tears streaming down his cheeks. "I can't help it." He wiped his face on the back of his hand. "I feel so STUPID. Of course... you don't love me." He sniffled and looked at Taichi yearningly. "But I..."

"...I'm sorry." Taking hold of Daisuke, Taichi pulled him into his lap and wrapped his arms around him. He didn't understand. He'd never felt anything so strong as what Daisuke professed to. But he hadn't wanted to hurt his friend, either. "I'm really sorry."

It was fifteen minutes before Daisuke finally pulled himself together. The aching inside of him was dull again, and he stopped crying. "I'm so stupid."

"You're not stupid." Taichi frowned and put his face in Daisuke's. "Don't let anyone tell you that."

Daisuke forced a smile when he felt his heart ache. "You're the only one that ever says that."

"And I'm right about it, too." Placing a soft kiss on Daisuke's cheek, Taichi smiled. "I'll drive you home, okay?"

"Okay..."

Taichi dropped Daisuke off at two in the morning. Jun let him in, asking where he'd been. He didn't reply. Instead, he went to bed and lay there in the dark for hours, thinking. He could have let it hurt him. He could have cried more. He didn't.

He started making a new plan. Taichi had been so sweet... and he knew now that he found him attractive. He'd find a way to Taichi's heart... eventually.