“Telling the future by looking at the past assumes that conditions remain constant. This is like driving a car by looking in the rearview mirror."  --Herb Brody

Chapter 4

Ok, so I would be lying if I said it wasn’t hot. That having those hot guys hands all over my greased up body didn’t make my dick instantly hard. I’m a man. And a gay man at that. So cut me some slack.

And I’d also be lying if I said I didn’t feel hot. I’ve been told my entire life, by everyone, that I was hot. By Brian, tricks, friends. Everyone. But this was different. I was hot enough to be a model? No way. But, maybe I was. I’m not getting a big head about it. I’m just surprised. And flattered. And it made me feel hot.

The hot lights, the hot clothes, the hot men, all made me feel more confident than I had in a long time.

 Coming home from New York, as much as I needed and wanted to do it, was one of the hardest thing I had ever done. To admit to myself, Brian and everyone else around me that I had failed. I know what they would all say. It wasn’t failure. In all honesty I had become the big fat fucking success they all thought I would become. Had my own gallery. Made money off my art. Made a name for myself there. And no one begrudged me when I came home. It’s like they all understood. But it didn’t make it less of a failure in my eyes.

The shoot took longer than expected. Scheid needed this one particular shot for “Heat” magazine, which was a 1 million dollar spread, to be perfect. And the perfect shot? One model behind me, his arms wrapped around my chest and the other at my feet arms wrapped around my leg. I was looking down at him, my blonde hair in my face with a look of utter lust. It’s not like I was acting. This was hot. They guys were hot and like I said, I felt hot.

So when I finally cleaned all the fucking oil off my body and got dressed it was past 4. Daphne had left a frantic message on my voicemail saying she was so sorry but she had an emergency at work and wouldn’t be able to meet up with me to give my birthday present. When I went to Brian’s office to let him know my plans with Daphne had fallen through I found he was gone.

“Ted?” I asked as I walked into his office.

He flushed slightly and cleared his throat. What was up with him?

“Yea, hey Justin.”

“Where’s Brian?”

“Oh he left like an hour ago. Said he had some things to take care of.” Ted continued to work on his computer and not look at me. Why was he being so fucking weird?

“Oh. Did he tell you to tell me anything?” I frowned slightly. Why didn’t he wait for me?

Ted shakes his head. “Nope. Just said he had things to do.”

I stand there for what seems like forever, tracing my fingers over the edge of Ted’s desk. I shouldn’t be surprised. I mean, he’s Brian. Of course he had things to do. He was CEO of Kinnetik and the owner of Babylon. His day never really ended. But…it was my birthday.

But Brian Kinney doesn’t do birthdays. I knew this. And I had accepted it. I had expected to come home around 6, make dinner myself like I always did, watch TV with Gus and then have him fuck me into the mattress until I passed out. Just like any other day. It was just another day. I was only 33. But I thought he would at least want to celebrate my big photo shoot. My big modeling debut. But he had things to do. Which was fine. I’m fine. It’s fine.

I leave Ted’s office in a fog. I am in such a fog in fact I don’t even notice Raul, one of the models coming right at me. We bump right into each other and he laughs as I almost fall to the ground.

“Hey! In your own world much?” He asks.

“Oh sorry, just thinking.” I smile at him. Damn he was hot.

“Hey all of us are headed over to that Japanese Steak house for dinner. You wanna come?”

I shake my head. “No, its ok thanks.”

“Oh, come on. I heard a rumor it’s your birthday.” He beams this smile at me. Did I mention how fucking hot he was?

“It is. That’s true.” I smile at him.

“Then come on! We’ll celebrate you’re big debut.” He raises an eye brow at me waiting for an answer.

Well it’s not like Brian expected me home anytime soon. He knew I was meeting Daphne. And I’m sure if he got hungry he could order something. If he was home at all. And Gus was fine by himself. It was my birthday anyways. My day.  And Brian would never want me to pass up 3 hot guys.

I agree to dinner and he gives me a seductive look as we exit Kinnetik. God he was hot.

***

It was past 9 by the time I pulled my car into the driveway. I was humming as I entered the house and I found Gus standing in the foyer, arms folded and a smile spread from ear to ear.

“You are SO in trouble.” He tells me.

“What? “ I ask as I hang my jacket up.

He points toward the kitchen. I walk slowly giving him a weird look. I see Brian, dressed in his hottest most expensive suit he owned. What the hell….

“Brian? What’s going on? Gus said…”

“WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN???” He screams glass of beam in hand.

Oh fuck. He’s been drinking.

“Huh?” I ask. I’m not really sure what is going on right now.

“I asked you WHERE the FUCK were you?? How fucking long does it take to get a present from Daphne?? The shoot was over at 4! It’s almost 9:30!!!” He’s pacing now.

“Well Daphne called and said she had an emergency at work and couldn’t meet me. So I went to dinner with the guys from the shoot.” I smirk. “And I got a present after all.”

Oh shit.

That did it.

His eyes widen and he clenches his hand around the glass so tight his knuckles get white.

“You went to dinner with the models? Well I hope you fucking enjoyed yourself while I was here waiting.” He says through gritted teeth.

“Waiting for what?” I am seriously confused right now.

“You could have fucking called you know!” He’s back to pacing now.

“Huh? Brian….since when….”

“Since when?” He interrupts. “Since when? Since I’ve been waiting here since 5 o’clock for you to come home. Since I got dressed in the suit YOU love the most on me. Since I made sure your suit was pressed and ready. And since IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I WAS GOING TO TAKE YOU TO DINNER AT MARIO’S!!!” The vein in his neck is straining. Fuck.

Mario’s was one of the most elite restaurants this side of West Virginia. They are always booked and you either need to know someone important or fuck someone important to even get a…..

“Do you know WHAT I had to DO to get this reservation!!!??? I’ve had it for WEEKS!!”

Yup. That’s what I thought.

Oh shit. Oh fuck.

“Brian, how the hell was I supposed to know you wanted to take me to dinner? I got done with the shoot and you were GONE!”

He is out of breath and he slams the glass down on the counter and leaves the kitchen. What. The. Fuck.

I follow him into the dining room and find him leaning against one of the chairs. I spot Gus leaning against the wall, watching with a smirk on his face.

Then I see them. Perfectly arranged in a huge oversized vase in the middle of the table.

Sunflowers.

I laugh. Please don’t ask me why I laughed. Because I honestly couldn’t tell you why. “What the fuck are those?” I ask.

He whirls around. “THEY WERE FOR YOU!!”

Gus snorts and he shoots him a look of death. His eyes widen and he books it up the stairs.

I can’t move. I can’t breath. Brian bought me flowers. FLOWERS. BRIAN.

“You bought me flowers? Why?”

“Are you fucking kidding me? NOW you don’t WANT flowers??” Oh he is pissed.

 “No, I mean…” This wasn’t going well.

“Well just forget it. Forget dinner. Forget the flowers. Forget the night I had planned. I really hope you had fun sunshine. I hope he was an AWESOME fuck.”

Is he fucking serious?

 “Brian, this is nuts. I mean I’m sorry I was late. I’m sorry I didn’t call…”

“Sorry’s bullshit.” He interrupts.

I sigh. “Brian....This is totally out of character for you. I mean your acting really weird. You just walked out of the shoot today. You left work and didn’t even tell me you were leaving. And now you’re freaking out because I was magically supposed to know you had this whole night planned.”

“It’s your FUCKING birthday Justin! Why the FUCK wouldn’t I do something for it!?”

“Because!” I throw my arms in the air. “Because it’s not what you do! Brian Kinney doesn’t celebrate birthdays. So how was I supposed to know you wanted me home? You should have just told me! You wouldn’t have had to tell me your plans or anything. You could have just said, ‘come home so I can fuck you senseless’ and I would have never gone.”

“Doesn’t matter now. You had your fun for your birthday.” He starts to undo his tie and walk away from me.

What the hell?

“Brian, what is with you? I mean you’re the LAST person I would think would want me to pass up on 3 hot guys. And you were acting totally weird today during the shoot. If I did something to make you mad…..”

“Mad? WHY THE FUCK WOULD I BE MAD??” He screams.

“I don’t know! But that’s they way you are acting! Your acting totally fucked right now and I have no idea why! Just tell me what the fuck is the matter! Why the hell your so…..”

“CAUSEIDON’TWANTANYONETOUCHINGYOU!!!!!”

…”angry.”

***

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